One of my absolute favorite yoga poses is 'easy seated pose' aka SUKHASANA.
Maybe you're thinking what's the big deal about simply sitting, but let me tell you the way my body is set up, the way my nervous system is set up, the way my chattering mind is set up.....sitting still is a challenge not just for my mind but for my body.
When I first began my yoga journey I would fidget to one side, and then the other, my legs would go straight, then start to cramp, then they would fall asleep, all in just one minute of sitting because I just did not know what to do with sitting still. My hip creases started to wake up my quads, my knees started to battle with my shins, I could only feel tingling in my toes, and then I would look over and see this perfect still yogi with her feet all weaved between her legs and I JUST HAD TO TRY TO DO THAT. Oh the humor of it all when I look back.
It was never about being able to eventually be comfortable as I sat in moments of meditation or during my asana practice, it was actually about all the ways my mind activated and how my body was affected if and when I found myself suffering while sitting, and what was really the grandest moment for me was realizing I was not alone. But it took me longer than I would care to admit, before I got honest with my own discomfort to realize so many of us suffer trying to be the perfect yogi in a yoga class. I was so busy judging myself for not being able to do something so simple as just sitting my ass on a yoga mat, I could not see the violence I was imposing on my soul, my heart, my confidence, my spirit. I was basically scolding myself for doing something I should know I would never be able to do. I mean after all, my bones are larger, I used to be almost 300 pounds, my body is just prone to cramping, it's the affects of obesity, so stop it, and maybe you need to just give up yoga, and maybe you need to go have a drink to soothe the ripped ego realizing you can't even sit for a minute in a yoga class, what makes you think you can actually stop drinking, you know you need to give up this dream and just go sit your ass in a more comfortable position and find a new fit for your journey girl, this is too hard. Ohhhhhh I could go even lower down the rabbit hole....how much time you got? lol
The blessing is, I did not listen to that voice, I continued to go to yoga classes where my heart was glad even if my mind was mad about the movements of my body. I kept practicing, and I would think about the Buddha and how he sat for days and lived through it, and how people I love and know well do this without effort, and I never asked one of them if it ever started getting easier. I just knew I wanted to try to be better than that voice that always seemed to show up at my cross road of giving up and trying. I started to think about small accomplishments along my weight loss journey like the first time I actually crossed my legs and how for some people that seems like an easy task, and instead of the narrative that pulled under, I listened to the nervous part of me that had the audacity to have hope.
Slowly I would set timers for how long I was able to sit and meditate and I can say that to date, my longest sit without fidgeting has been 43 minutes. So listen beloved, my point for this blog isn't to promote Sukhasana, my message here is to cultivate hope in hearts of those of you that feel yourself limited by what you believe about yourself. Anything you are willing to practice as becomes better or you learn that it just is not for you to do. I took a chance and tried what I felt I would never do, and I stopped looking for it to stop being uncomfortable, I started leaning into what felt uncomfortable and developed a relationship with the feeling, and when I changed my thoughts about the feeling, it shifted from discomfort, to sensation. I will say this.....I never let myself feel pain, because I knew that pain was my body's signal to stop because it's not working, and so I learned to listen to the language of my body, my nervous system, what felt accessible and what did not. You really and truly can allow you practice to become your prayer.
EASY SEATED POSE/SUKHASANA
Find your comfortable seat (In a chair (feet flat on the ground), or on the mat (legs crossed with feel directly under the knees), or seated on the mat (legs straight out in front of you).
Lengthen through your spine by allow the hip bones to settle into your seat, or on the ground.
Take a moment to inhale and draw the shoulders up to the ears and as you exhale release the shoulders creating space as you allow the shoulders to melt away them.
Soften your face muscles, belly muscles, and open the heart.
Rest your hands comfortable in your lap, palms up for receiving and palms down for grounding.
close your eyes or soften your gaze, resting the eyes on the top edge of your mat.
Settle into your awareness, bringing your focus to the rythm of your breath.
sit for as long as you desire.